I have been thinking about light again. It is one of my favorite symbols. I read last week about the darkness that fell upon the Nephites when Christ died. There were terrible storms, earthquakes and devastation and then complete and total darkness and silence for 3 days. The darkness was so complete that they could not see a hand in front of their face. I imagine the air was full of dust from the leveled cities and not even the starts were visible. They had no way of creating light or even knowing where they were because the very face of the land had changed. Imagine that. What would life be like without light of any kind. Imagine being blind in a unfamiliar place and you can't call for help because your neighbor is in the same situation.
Obviously, there is symbolism here. Christ is the light of the world. When He died, so did the light.
Helen Keller said something about facing the light and the shadows will be behind you. I think we all have shadows - dark things that make life difficult. I can't imagine life without them. Personally, I sometimes think my life is a punishment for something. Not to be a downer but other than a few moments of ignorant bliss, it has just never been easy or fun. I think it was president Hinckley who said that if we expect life to be fun, we are going to be disappointed. How true that is.
The only reason I keep going is because of the light of Christ. I believe in Him. I know He loves me and it is the string that I hold onto that keeps pulling me along. Sometimes I feel like the shadows are about to mow me down but I hold on.
I have been working on building my own Christ-like attributes and lately I think I may have reached a new level of understanding. Its not really new but has sunk in a little deeper I guess. Recently I was asked what I thought about someone who had given a talk. This person has in the past said some hurtful things and I think I was expected to gossip a bit but I said that I thought they were doing the best they could to be the best person they could be. I believe that and I believe that most of us are just like that - doing the best we can. You don't know about my personal misery and I don't know about yours because mostly, we just try to do the best we can and hold our heads up and keep moving forward.
Sometimes its all I can do to stand still and not fall down. The mountain of muck that I have to deal with is too big to go over or around. I can only plod through it one step at a time, while it seems to keep getting bigger. At least that is how I feel right now. Most of the time I face forward and try keep the shadows behind me but I get turned around sometimes and I am not doing great today.
My point is that we all have our personal muck and I know what it's like to suffer, so I am not going to judge you by what I see on the surface when I know little or nothing about what you struggle with underneath. I believe you are doing your best to be the person you want to be. Please do the same for me. We need to love each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt. That is a big deal to me - benefit of the doubt. It means that even when I seem like I am a real mess - you trust that I am a good person and I didn't mean to be hurtful or careless or bad in any way. I am just flawed and doing my best.
Keep plodding along. I am so grateful for the Savior and that light that he brings to my otherwise dark world.
It may not seem like it but I think I just gave myself a pep talk. That and the talk by Elder Holland that was shared on Facebook this morning may just get me through the day. If not for Elder Holland this would have been a lot more negative. I should just listen to him every morning.
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